I’d like to thank Corporate America for helping me hone the skills I need to survive in today’s very diverse and highly technological world. All I need to do is pick up the phone and within seconds, I’m practicing my Spanish, “Para Espanol, prima el numero dos”. Using the keypad to punch in my account number is not only great for finger dexterity, but also memorization, since I’ll be asked to provide it again, once I’m connected to a customer service representative. Sure beats the heck outta the old standard, “please hold”, as I just sit there on my lazy butt listening to the Muzak version of Blondie’s “Call Me”.

Thank you cold and calculated, computer generated drill sergeant!┬áBy assigning me all these tasks, time passes so much more quickly, I no longer have a need for that unpopular and annoying concept known as patience. This has now given me the strength and resolve to hang up on that living and breathing voice, you passed me off to, once they ask me if I’d be kind enough to participate in a “customer service survey”.
Or at least reply, “Please hold”.