Jun 18 2012

Had a discussion with some friends yesterday about some of the more memorable handshakes we’ve each had the pleasure of experiencing over the years. When I say memorable, I’m talking about the crappiest and most awkward ones! Supposedly you can tell a bit about a person by the way they grasp your hand.

We started out with “The Dead/Limp Fish”. That’s when someone just lays their hand in yours, with no pressure or emotion whatsoever. If this happens to you, I recommend you immediately check this person for a pulse. Then there’s the “Over The Top” or “Superior”. They come at you with their palm down as if to say, “Who’s your Daddy! That’s right! I am!” If someone tries this one on you, immediately pull in your middle finger and tickle their palm! That’ll show’em who’s boss! The “Kiss My Ring” handshake can make for an uncomfortable experience. This is the chivalrous one where only the fingers of a woman meet the palm of a man’s hand. Then the male is supposed to raise it up and kiss the top of her hand. Unfortunately, if the person just using their fingers isn’t a female or better yet, female royalty, you just might be shaking hands with another kind of queen. There’s also the “Misfire”, the “Never-Gonna-Let-You-Go!”, the “Bone Crusher” and the “Pull You In”. That’s when they shake your hand, pull you closer and place their other arm around you, ’cause they really wanted a hug!